i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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