I puked a lego.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
