you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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