I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize