Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
