Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
