i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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