I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
