ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
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