Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
