He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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