y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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