I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
As shirtless as possible
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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