I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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