porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
