Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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