Define "chronic" masturbator.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we're making bets on your personal life
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
