thus making me awesome and them whores
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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