No stitches, just platelets and will power
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
