yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize