A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The beer is more important than you right now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
