My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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