her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
