you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
