your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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