Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize