the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
