also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
