I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
