This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
