That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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