Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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