pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
