can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
