It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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