You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
