Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
