Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
