I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
