I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
