Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize