Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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