Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
