was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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