Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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