bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
