you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
