You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
