There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
