but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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