It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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