Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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