i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
