she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
