how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He? As in you personified your dick?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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