IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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