it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
