Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
