She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I need water and some morals
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
