oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
