Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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