K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
