goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
