Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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