I just saw a hot homeless man
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
