My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
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