broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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