I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
