I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
