I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
