So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
