Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
