how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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