I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
