so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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