I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Rumble strips road head = magical
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize