I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
