if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize