PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
