Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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